Coming to Know Yahweh – Abba Father
Most of our lives we were taught about growing up and becoming independent. However, I believe that Abba Father, the God of the universe had something completely different in mind. What if we were to teach our children to lessen their dependence on us and increase their dependency upon Him. Ultimately, our whole lives are about coming to KNOW Him as He is (John 17:3).
This thought came to me as I was spending time with the Lord and asking what He desired from me during this season. Several years ago, I remember having an opportunity to go to a woman’s conference far away in another state by myself. I cannot tell you I was too keen on this opportunity. I was encouraged by one sister in Christ, “have you ever asked God what He desired?” and my reply was “nope”. The title of that conference was The King’s Desire and the year was 2010. I bravely chose to go and sleep in a hotel not with the other ladies at the castle, because my trust levels just were not there. I already had so much anxiety about going away from everything I knew as familiar and comfortable and secure. That conference was a turning point for me about learning who God really is. I had been taught he had so many expectations of me and to keep my sin ledger short and other things. This was not the God that I encountered at that conference, nor has it been the God I encounter daily as I talk with Him about all that concerns me. There are days I feel like I am drowning, that I can barely keep my head above all that comes my way. Those are the days I know that I would perish apart from my relationship with Him. There have been many accusations in my mind: my own thoughts/imaginations, other’s words, and the accuser of the brethren’s accusations. In spite of being wounded by other’s actions and words I continue to trust Abba to teach me to trust people again, the ones He leads me to, to build me up and encourage me.
This morning as I was asking Him what He desired for this season, He told me that He desired I spend time with Him, for me to depend on Him and to trust Him. I had to look up the word depend, and it said to place trust, support, help, like a child depends on their parents. This is what made me desire to write this article.
I know there was a season of my life when I was a much younger lady and I thought I was ready to fly and be on my own, it was post high school, going into college. I was wrong. I was not ready for that next season and within 7 short months I was back at home trying to figure this adult thing out.
I continued to make not so great choices as I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. There were things I desired to do or be but lacked confidence in my ability to do so. A lot of my younger years, I lived in the shadow of my older brother who excelled in a lot of things, especially academically. Sometimes, he was a really hard act to follow. There came a point in my life, many years later when I was looking at the success of my brothers and the failure of my own life that a sister in the Lord said the following, “what is stopping you? You have the same DNA running through you that they do.” My reply was, “I guess I am”. I have never really seen my life as too significant. It seemed like others were better at this or that and I was just trying to find my place and what I was good at. I know from the time I was a young girl I wanted to be a wife and mom. That desire did not diminish as the years progressed. God granted that desire of my heart. I also desired to teach, and God granted that desire by allowing me to homeschool our older son. Now, I am in a new season and I was totally not prepared for this day. I did not have vision beyond the prior season. My days of being a mom are coming closer to a close as our youngest is 17 years old. I have anxiety wondering what the next season will hold and will I be any good at it? There are certainly times I have felt I have failed as a wife and mom. Recently, our older son affirmed that I had done well and would continue to do so with his younger brother. That was very encouraging on a day that I was dealing with some really negative thoughts.
Every time we face a situation in life, it gives us an opportunity to come to know God on a more intimate level and discover who He truly is.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article.
I pray that your relationship with Abba Father will become closer and closer, and that you would discover how much He truly loves you!